That large numbers of Americans are not voting is a cause of great concern.  Democratic government, we’re told, depends on an informed and active citizenry.  Billions of dollars are spent during every election cycle to “get out the vote,” but such efforts have generally fallen short of expectations.  Nevertheless, candidates continue to be elected and government operations go on without interruption year after year.

Far more worrisome would be a situation in which Americans curtailed their spending, limited their purchases of goods and services. That would be unthinkable, likely regarded as an existential threat to our way of life.  Our economy would, under such circumstances, be unable to withstand such a jolt (as would most others, especially in the developed world).  It is, after all, predicated on a system of consumption without end , with individual consumers, boundlessly eager to add to their existing stock of goods and to avail themselves of whatever services promised to enhance their lives.  Most people, at all income levels, are quite willing to play their parts

The problem is just how to keep all the balls in the air in order to maintain an ever-growing level of consumption so that our economic machine, strikingly productive, does not falter, slow down even grind to a halt, unable to dispose of all it can produce.  What could contribute to such a dire state of affairs?  Poor people can’t afford to purchase much beyond the necessities.  Were that portion of the population to increase, it would create pressure on others to take up the slack.  But many of those who are not poor are nonetheless not in a position to carry the load.  Too often they’re in debt, their ability to consume limited by the fact that wages have remained essentially flat in recent years.  In addition, the job market has been unable to support a broad range of full-time well-paying jobs for all those seeking them (including recent college grads).  Thus, relatively high unemployment, part-time employment and erratic cycles of employment (including millions who have left the job market) have put a damper on the consumer’s confidence.

But too much is at stake here for our consumption-based economy to be allowed to malfunction..  Ways, for example, have been found to allow consumers to spend more money than they have.  That challenge was addressed long ago with the advent of credit cards, which magically augmented purchasing power by putting substantial amounts of money into individual accounts from which they could draw at any time.  And for the credit-worthy, these amounts would be increased when credit limits were approached.  Even more powerful leverage eventually buoyed the marketplace in the form of home equity loans.  As home prices rose owner equity in their properties increased proportionately.  Accordingly, they were encouraged to refinance and draw funds out of their homes for purchases that need no longer be delayed.  Millions took advantage of this contrivance, thereby adding trillions of dollars to potential purchasing power.  In addition, in recent years a booming stock market (induced in part by Federal Reserve monetary policy) has added trillions of dollars to the net worth of individuals holding securities.  This produced a “wealth effect,” i.e., a feeling of wellbeing, even euphoria, long associated with enhanced levels of consumption.  Even the poor were enabled to join in it.  Thanks to the earned income tax credit, the government transferred billions of dollars each year into their hands which generally resulted in immediate purchases of one sort or another.

While money was generated in ways just described, producers of goods and services and those who sold them to the public were, at the same time, hard at work devising ways to get individuals to loosen their purse strings.  Advertising grew as never before as commercials flooded our environment in any way and in every place imaginable.  Sales enticements were everywhere, holiday buying periods heavily promoted,  consumers bombarded with “come-ons,” whether on billboards, through mailers, over the phone, on TV, via the internet or on a variety of mobile devices.  Everywhere were new products and services ”better than ever,” presented as essential to those in pursuit of the good life.  Consumer research reached new levels of sophistication as individual buying patterns were analyzed and products offered to meet specific individual interests, as well as the needs of various segments of the buying public.  Supply did not generate demand, as an old economic precept once assumed, but it certainly spurred extraordinary efforts to whet consumer appetites.

In sum, our economic system, as currently organized, requires that there be no let up, no slackening in the pace of consumption.  Just as some sharks must keep swimming to remain alive, our economic machine must keep in constant motion, an unending cycle of increased production and consumption.  The pressure is constant.  The stakes are high.  We may not choose to vote, but we must never forget to spend.

The other day, having scheduled a medical consultation I was led into a waiting room by a nurse.  “The doctor will be in shortly”, she said cheerfully, before closing the door, making it seem as if he was but steps away.  I sit down fully expecting him to pop in before I could even get comfortable.  But that’s not what happened.  Ten minutes passed.  No problem, I thought – when was the last time a doctor saw you immediately?  Now it was twenty minutes.  Probably got tied up unexpectedly with another patient.  It happens.  Forty minutes.  What the hell is going on?  I did have an appointment.  Does he even know I’m here?  My time is valuable, too!  I open the door hoping someone will pass by who can tell me what’s happening.  Sure enough I manage to flag down a passing nurse.  She’ll “check it out,” she assures me.  Five minutes later the doctor comes running in, full of apologies.  He mumbles something largely unintelligible, leaving me with the sense that he’d forgotten and had not been told I was waiting.  What we have here is a prime example of the waiting phenomenon, an experience familiar to everyone.

We’ve calculated how much time Americans spend in their cars commuting to work.  We’ve figured out just how sleep deprived we are, or how much time we spend watching commercials or doing housework, but no one has kept track of time consumed just waiting.  Totals are likely to be eye opening.

It can happen in a crowded restaurant as you wait for a table or later for your meal to arrive.  Also, in medical offices as I’ve just described or on the telephone as you await a response from a live human being.  Then, too, on a highway, once gridlock has set in, as well as in many other instances.  What is of interest here is not just the elapsed time, but individual reactions as he or she waits and waits and …

There are, most everyone will acknowledge, distinct stages that people pass through as patience gives way to impatience, then annoyance, anger, even outrage.  Let us define and examine this progression.

Optimism – All is well.  Nothing’s amiss.

Confidence – Not much time has elapsed.  Just a few more minutes at most.

Unease – Hasn’t enough time passed already?

Really now! – This is getting ridiculous.

Why me? – Someone has it out for me!

Who the hell do they think they are? – Outrageous!

I’m outta here.  – I’m leaving.

Never again.  – There are plenty of others.

Next time you’re waiting, consider what you’ve just read.  Hopefully it can help.

“Everyone talks about the weather but no one does anything about it” – an enduring cliché for sure.  But is it entirely true?  Not if we consider the fact that songwriters have long appropriated weather conditions and incorporated them into their lyrics.  Who doesn’t remember “Blowing in the Wind”, “Raindrops Keep Falling on my head”, or “We’re having a Heat Wave”, or such standards as “April Showers”, “Over the Rainbow”, or “Wait till the Sun Shines Nelly”?

But,  weather conditions mostly have been employed to explore matters of the heart.  They offer us an emotional canvas that proclaims and celebrates Romance.  Love, as we know, is a heady mix of longing, uncertainty and ecstasy.  All these feelings have been expressed in words and music that have become part of America’s mainstream songbook.

The weather can be a barrier to romance:

“But I ain’t up to my baby tonight,

       ‘Cause it’s too darn hot.”

On the other hand it can serve to keep a couple romantically inclined, from parting because:   “Baby, it’s cold outside.”

Then again a relationship that’s become strained may be likened to stormy weather:

“Stormy weather, since my man and I ain’t together,

                    keeps raining all the time.”

Still, there’s always the prospect of reconciliation:

“There is a change in the weather,

                     there’s gonna be a change in me.”

But by far song lyrics have invoked the weather to illustrate the exhilaration that love imparts.  Gene Kelly, amidst a downpour, lets us know:

“I’m singing in the rain;

                    the sun’s in my heart.  I’m ready for love.”

And we also learn that overcast conditions cannot dampen feelings of affection:

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

You make me happy when skies are gray.”

Neither does fog:

“A foggy day in London town,

                     for suddenly I saw you there,

                     and through foggy London town

                     the sun was shining everywhere.”

Or snow:

“So long as you love me so,

                     let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.”

Take note that where there’s love there’s always sunshine as the Beatles reminded us:

“Good day Sunshine,

                     I’m in love and it’s a sunny day.

As did Stevie Wonder:

“You are the sunshine of my life.

                     Forever you’ll stay in my heart.”

But when love fades, the weather turns:

“Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone;

                      It’s not warm when she’s away.”

Remember, though, when you’re in love the weather may, in the end, may make little difference:

“Are the stars out tonight? 

                    I don’t care if it’s cloudy or bright. 

                    For I only have eyes for you.”

In offering us glimpses of the life styles of the astoundingly rich, a recent television presentation took note of the fact that Larry Ellison’s (Oracle) luxury yacht came equipped with a basketball court on deck.  But the eye opening feature here was not so much that, but the fact that Ellison’s cruiser was trailed by a motor boat whose driver was assigned the task of scooping up basketballs that had bounced over the side and into the water – a unique service indeed.  That got me thinking about other novel personal services that might become available to those able to afford them.  After all, in a predominantly service economy there is constant pressure to create more and more unique services to generate jobs and bolster GNP.  The following services might, at first glance, appear entirely fanciful, but then who would have imagined Ellison’s retriever?

• Golf has its caddies so why shouldn’t tennis have youngsters available at local courts to retrieve and toss balls to players waiting at the baseline.  And, yes, they should also have towels at the ready.
• Parents should be able to hire service providers who will read to their children and then put them to bed.
• Why not a service that scrutinizes daily deliveries and disposes of junk mail so that you don’t have to?
• How about a service that distributes money for you to those begging on the streets as you pass on by.
• Wouldn’t there be a demand for people who arrive at your house before you leave for a lengthy trip to pack you up and make sure you’ve not forgotten anything.
• Who wouldn’t want someone available at poolside to towel you off as you get out, as well as refresh your suntan lotion.
• Valet parkers specially trained to handle only luxury cars (viz., Bentley, Aston Martin, Rolls-Royce, etc.)
• A service that provides snacks, soft drinks, coffee, etc., to you in your car as you wait in traffic that is hopelessly gridlocked.
• Personal tour guide to accompany you on long automobile trips to point out and explain interesting features along the route.
• A service that provides current magazines of your choice as you sit and wait and wait some more in a doctor’s office.
• A service that would rush an umbrella to you wherever you are should it start to rain.
• A suburban car service that takes the burden of organizing daily car pools out of the hands of parents.
• A service that will arrive wherever your car is parked to wash the vehicle and also, if needed, fill the gas tank.

In our brave new world of seemingly endless service providers, can any of these be ruled out?  Indeed, some of them may already be available.

To motorists traffic lights are a distinct nuisance.  They would much prefer being able to drive along unimpeded without having to stop repeatedly.  But that’s sheer fantasy.  Without lights who doubts that utter chaos would ensue, with gridlock the condition at most major intersections.

Still, lights, red lights that is, represent the enemy, the bane of automobile drivers.  After coasting along, who welcomes slowing down, coming to a stop, waiting, then getting up to speed and repeating the process one light after another?  What a delight it is rather to look ahead, see a red light turning green and driving on through.  That ranks among life’s small but much appreciated pleasures.  Repeat this over a series of consecutive lights and you feel specially blessed.

But everyone who drives knows that in their neighborhood, or along routes they generally travel, are lights from hell, red lights that tax your patience, that seem to last forever.  Commanding you to stop and wait, they stand as a dreaded obstacle, a humiliating defeat.  There are, of course, occasions when remaining green you whip on by them.  There is immense relief combined with an unmistakable feeling of elation.  But such times are rare.  More commonly, they’ve just turned red as you approach, begin to slow down, then stop, knowing well you’re facing a lengthy wait, perhaps for two minutes or longer (a lifetime when you’re behind the wheel).  Typically this occurs at a major intersection, with vehicles turning and crossing in all directions.  If you happen to be waiting for a turn arrow, you’d best be exceptionally patient.  Unaware of the light sequence you just wait and wonder when your turn will come.  Not only are such green arrows short lived, but they appear only after everyone else has proceeded.

These lengthy waits, while unwelcome, can sometimes be put to good use.  One can relax, drain your coffee cup, apply makeup, examine whether your hair is in place, or light a cigarette.  Do any of these and you’re still likely to find that the light remains red.  Could it be broken, or is it just totally unfair?

Taking note of this infamous location you vow to avoid this route in the future.  And maybe you will.But it’s likely you will be ambushed elsewhere, be stalled at some other hellish intersection.  Once again you will be obliged to stop, then wait and wait some more – a singular form of torture most drivers are subjected to daily.

We recognize that there are people and groups in our society who are treated unfairly, discriminated against and whose problems remain unresolved.  We may at times acknowledge their situation and recognize the obstacles they confront, but just as often it reminds us that we face our own “issues”, problems we regard as equally urgent.

Grievances, anger, resentment, a sense of unfairness – so many Americans believe they are victims.  In such an environment it can be difficult to mobilize support against many of the ills that beset our society.  Call attention to the problems faced by any particular group and you encounter resistance from others who consider their problems to be just as pressing and even more of a priority.

Many women are understandably upset that despite progress they still  do not stand on an   equal footing with men.  When it comes to occupying choice positions or enjoying equal pay for equal work or  adequate and affordable day care services or meaningful protection against male aggression, much still needs to be done.  But the ongoing efforts of women to achieve their objectives have prompted men to respond with their own set of grievances.  Men’s needs, they insist, are too often overlooked because women have become increasingly “pushy” and demanding.  Men are under increased pressure of late to perform more housework and cook, to remain at home with their children and to become more sensitive and supportive sexual partners.  They must allow women entry into formerly male bastions, accept female bosses, and rein in their sexual appetites.  Men are hearing some women declare that they are the superior sex and that men may no longer even be needed.  Little surprise then that such talk leaves men both angry and aggrieved.

The grievances of African-Americans are of long standing and broadly based.  Any detailed survey would include slavery and a very limited emancipation experience thereafter,  ,persistent segregation, anti-black riots and violence  (e.g., lynching) targeting individuals and communities, as well as unending discrimination in employment, education, housing, the criminal justice system and nearly every other sector  of American society (even including, for a long time, sports).  Most blacks would probably acknowledge that there’s been progress, but all would insist it has fallen well short of what’s needed.  But increased awareness and pressure from blacks has often ignited a backlash of white anger and feelings of abandonment.  Affirmative action, according to whites, favors blacks and limits white advance.  Government programs to support those in need, e.g., welfare and food stamps, go, they claim disproportionally to blacks with whites benefitting far less.  The inability of African-Americans to advance more rapidly in recent times has nothing to do with slavery and its aftermath, whites suggest and is more the consequence of persistent dislocations within black communities.  Some whites will respond to black assertiveness by proclaiming that the US is fundamentally “a white man’s country” and should remain so.

It is also, for tens of millions, a pre-eminently Christian nation founded by devout Christians inspired by their God and guided by the Holy Bible.  The success of this nation is, as they view it, a testament to those devoted to the Christian message one generation after another.  Most disturbing, Christianity is, to their mind, under attack owing to the rise of secularism  the decline in traditional morality  the erosion of belief associated with scientific advances,  the pursuit of pleasure, and the consequence of rampant consumerism.  Christians must, they insist, reassert the primacy of religious beliefs, particularly in the public arena, demand that biblical accounts be treated seriously while upholding the sanctity of human life by blocking abortion and opposing demands from the homosexual community.  If America is to revitalize its society and find its way, it must do so, they maintain, within a Christian framework.

We could, to underscore our point, also examine the problems of young adults as they confront mounting college indebtedness, shrinking job opportunities, the growing unaffordability of home ownership and a future that, given environmental disruption, could soon produce nightmarish scenarios.  We could also explore the dissatisfactions and growing unease of small businessmen and women who encounter difficulty raising capital, obtaining bank loans, facing costly regulatory restrictions while obliged to compete against large corporations which benefit greatly because of the economic and political leverage they enjoy.  Our examination could, in addition, focus on America’s  working classes angered by declining real wages, lagging minimum wages, persistent unemployment and underemployment, the loss of manufacturing jobs as well as the continued shrinkage of unions and weakness of the labor movement.  Working class individuals beset by such pressures are unlikely to support objectives set by other groups within our society.

And that holds true for every group just described and for others not included in this survey.  This chorus of grievances, resentment and loss, whether legitimate or contrived, provides a reason, and sometimes an excuse for particular groups, not to support those proposing remedies for others.  This “what about us” mentality will continue to subvert reform efforts unless effective coalitions and alliances can be formed and broad cooperation achieved.

Three weeks ago a new restaurant opened in town.  And I just learned that two more are on the way.  That will bring the total to about 70 eateries in a village of 24,000.  We’re not underserved.  Being an upscale community it’s hardly surprising that folks in our town eat out often, together with those from surrounding areas.  We are, after all, living in an age when self-described foodies abound, chefs are celebrities and when restaurants of all kinds overspread the land.

Here’s what’s on the menus around town.  We’ve got an array of chain establishments – including McDonald’s, Subway, Taco Bell, Friday’s and Panera, and the predictable coffee houses – Starbucks and Dunkin donuts, plus an independent Java Joint.  Pizzerias – they’re everywhere (gluten-free if you request it).  We have our ever-reliable diner – everything you may ever want to eat – open twenty hours a day (there is a second one that closed after a fire, but promises, unconvincingly to reopen).  Several luncheonettes are sprinkled here and there, and add a “bagelry” and a delicatessen.

We feature more than a half dozen bar-restaurant establishments, complete with beer, bottomless chips, fields of flat TV screens and real food.  We’ve got the obligatory steak houses and a venerable clam bar.  We were, for a time, without a fish place, but that vacuum was filled with two recent entrants.  Naturally international cuisine is ever present – French, Italian, Mexican, Chinese, Thai, Asian-Fusion, Sushi, Greek, Mediterranean and Middle East, and not just one of each.  The selection was once even broader, but our Portuguese and Indian restaurants both left town.  And let’s not forget deserts; available are ices, ice cream, frozen custard, frozen yogurt stores, as well as an eat-in bakery.

Always, there’s talk about how many restaurants our town can support (the only reliable answer rests with the marketplace).  And as we’ve noted, some don’t make it.  Still, in their place quite predictably, you will  find yet another restaurant opening its doors.  Around here, eating out is definitely “in”.

The other afternoon I received a call from a friend in Florida.  It was a raw and rainy day in the New York area so I was at home when he phoned.  He’d just come back, he said, from playing tennis.  Conditions, he added, were ideal – sunshine and 80 degrees.  I could detect in his voice a certain smugness and self-satisfaction. Whether  he knew it was a  miserable day up North  I couldn’t tell.  He simply assumed he was in a far better place.

Floridians and New Yorkers often find themselves in an ongoing competition  regarding the weather.  Over the years many New Yorkers have left to take up residence there or at least to winter in the Sunshine State.  Invariably they will explain they could no longer “take” the weather in New York, especially during the winter months.  In most every telephone conversation with them they will inquire about temperatures and conditions up North, especially how much snow is on the ground.  Delighting in the fact that they’ve escaped the harsh weather they feign sympathy for those  “suffering” there.

New Yorkers are not without opportunities to return the favor given the fact that heavy rains and hurricanes are an ever-present menace in Florida, especially in late Summer and Fall.  The shoe is now on the other foot.  New Yorkers will, at such times, express sympathy and support even as they remind themselves that this palm tree paradise is not without its imperfections and challenges.  Same is true in the summer months when intense heat and high humidity produce extremely uncomfortable conditions down South.  At that time many Floridians flee, often migrating back to New York.  We accept their return and delicately suggest that they might be better off relocating back to the New York area.  One might have assumed that such suggestions would be dismissed out of hand – but they’re not.

A similar pattern of competitive weather banter occurs with members of my family who live in the Los Angeles area.  I’ve been out there and appreciate how beautiful it can be for days on end.  I envy them when they tell me they’re at the beach in Santa Monica, or at a park or an outdoor mall or in the pool almost any time of the year.  When it’s rainy and miserable in New York they will declare that it’s been weeks since the last rain.  They can, as a result, plan outdoor events without fear they’ll be disrupted or cancelled.  When I ask about smog they remind me that the problem has largely abated and that the fog burns off by late morning.  And then I up the ante by mentioning drought and severe water shortages.  And what about the brushfires that break out at such times?  And then there are the earthquakes.  Who can deny that the “Big One” could hit one day?  But even putting that aside, anxiety inducing tremors are not uncommon out  there..  (Earthquakes obviously are not a weather phenomenon, but they invariably get tossed into “climate debates”.)  Still, Southern California may just have the edge in any weather competition, confirmed by the fact that millions have chosen to resettle over the years along America’s Left Coast.

I also have family members in Chicago, but here, weather envy is usually absent from most discussions.  It’s more like weather empathy on my part.  Chicago certainly has its architectural and natural attractions but it also has its issues.  The summer months may find tornadoes blowing in and around the city.  And then there are the winters.  Frigid temperatures, icy gusts of wind – it takes a hardy breed to survive this.  I maintain a lively interest in Chicago weather conditions, however, because it often serves as a precursor to what’s in store for New York.  Chicago weather one day is likely to be New York’s the next.  Accordingly, I credit my daughter for gifting us with delightful days in the East, courtesy of Chicago, but also hold her accountable when storms originating out her way  end up battering our area.  Whether she puts down roots and remains in Chicago permanently is still, for her, an unsettled question.  No doubt the weather will figure prominently in her decision.

It’s undeniable that there’s no more popular topic of conversation than the weather.  But, as we’ve suggested here, weather talk goes beyond mere conventional platitudes and serves as a gauge of social advantage.  With better weather we  announce that we’re better off..

It’s less a matter of blind faith and more a question of acceptance and trust.  Thinking too much about some of what we commonly do might prompt daily panics, only adding to our existing fears.

You’re in an airplane flying at an elevation of about 35,000 feet listening to music, munching on a snack, dozing off, altogether comfortable.  But from time to time you consider the fact that you’ve never really understood how a huge, enormously heavy machine in which you’re sitting could become airborne and actually stay aloft.  Then you think about the fact that not much separates you and comfortable room temperature from the impossibly frigid, subzero readings right outside the cabin.  Or, peering downward you ponder the fact that you’re tens of thousands of feet off the ground – clearly an unnatural location for humans who’ve survived for thousands of years by moving about on the earth’s surface.  Still you’re pretty confident that the airplane will arrive safely at its destination – it always does.

Because you have an appointment, you enter the office building and wait outside a bank of elevators for one that will take you to the 65^th floor.  You live in an apartment building on the 4th floor, but that’s hardly preparation for the trip that now awaits you.  It’s an “express” elevator and so in an instant you’re up to warp speed, or so it seems.  You’ve seen elevator shafts at one time or another and can visualize the dark, empty, bottomless space just below your feet.  Could a cable snap and send you hurtling down into the void and to certain destruction?  Highly unlikely – but not impossible.

You get out at the 65^th floor, enter the office and are informed you will be seen shortly.  Meanwhile, you peer out the window.  Far down below are urban denizens, barely distinguishable moving about.  Cloud formations seem uncomfortably close.  It’s a blustery day and you sense the  structure is swaying a bit.  How can it be so tall, so slender and still be safe?  Admittedly you feel more comfortable after exiting the building.  Looking up at it from below makes you slightly dizzy.  It’s still a mystery how year after year it manages to stay in place.

Begin crossing a high suspension bridge in your car and unless you’re talking or listening to music, you might just be considering how high above the water you are and how a span so lengthy and incredibly heavy keeps from collapsing (especially when clogged with  traffic).  Throw in a high wind, a swaying bridge and your anxiety rises.  Bridges do collapse from time to time; still, you’re confident you will make it across.  There is, however, a palpable sense of relief when you do.

Who doesn’t feel a tinge claustrophobic when driving through a   tunnel as you eagerly await the light signaling you’ve reached the other end?  What scared me for years was the mistaken belief that tunnels were constructed upon river bottoms and that rushing waters passed just above tunnel ceilings.  Couldn’t cracks in the ceiling lead to water cascading down, swamping all cars and drowning their occupants?  This thought terrified me until I realized that they are carved out of the bedrock below the river so that cracks, where they do occur, would not lead to a swift watery death.  Nonetheless, it is a relief when I pass through tunnels and am back to shore.

Finally, there are boats, those huge passenger ships, some rivalling skyscrapers in height (could they actually tip over?).  When on board you are transported into a fantasy world of endless food, drink, entertainment and non-stop recreation, so any sense of peril is unlikely to intrude.  Still there you are, travelling in a small container amidst the absolute vastness of the sea and the awesome power of waves once disturbed.  And from time to time one realizes that underneath the boat are thousands of feet of water that rarely yields that which it sometimes chooses to swallow up.

Life goes on; human skill and ingenuity overcoming obstacles which once confounded and limited earth’s inhabitants.  Still, primordial fears remain partially subdued, but unlikely ever to be eliminated.

SCAMMED

            People scammed?  What else is new?  Judging from news reports, it happens all the time.  Ponzi schemes succeed with disturbing regularity.  “Long distance’ phone calls or text messages, often from Nigeria, falsely promising huge payoffs in return for initial segments have long plagued us.  “Prize winners” are typically asked for money prior to collecting substantial payoffs which never materialize.  Individuals are lured into dubious penny stocks which generally crash and burn before “investors” can sell.  Shady contractors require large down payments on projects never undertaken.

I’ve often read about these scams, but never myself experienced any – until it happened.  And this one was not all that obvious at first.  Among my phone messages recently was a recorded voice which, in a matter-of-fact manner, informed me that this was a “final notice” from the IRS and that it had filed a lawsuit against me.  No explanation was offered, but a phone number given which I was asked to call.

Now of all the organizations you might hear from, the IRS is not one you’d be tempted to ignore or brush off.  No one is ever totally confident that their tax returns are unimpeachably accurate or that certain deductions might have been inflated or some income unreported.  Still, I couldn’t imagine what was amiss and, more importantly, why I hadn’t been notified by letter, long the agency’s standard mode of communication.

I dialed the number given, the call answered promptly by a woman of South Asian origin who I had some trouble understanding.  Still my suspicions were not aroused – government employees are not always the most effective communicators.  Indeed it seemed quite legitimate because she proceeded to give me her name, made certain I spelled it correctly and then added what she said was her official badge identification number.  In addition, in the background I could hear chatter which suggested this was a busy office, which I imagined would be the case with the IRS.

Now I was concerned.  “What was the problem?” I asked.  Her response was immediate and seemingly plausible.  The amounts I had recorded on my tax returns did not correspond with those that had been submitted from various sources to the IRS over a period of years.  Accordingly, there was a deficiency and hence the action taken against me.

“Why am I just learning about this?” my tone of voice still respectful, even deferential.  “We had sent you two previous letters” she replied, “but had not heard back.”  One letter perhaps I’d overlooked or misplaced, but two – that seemed highly unlikely.  More disturbing, she went on to inform me that my failure to pay what I owed, plus interest, plus penalties, amounted to $4,813.  This was serious.  “I’m going to have to check with my accountant and have him review my returns,” I responded.

At this point she determined it would be best that I speak to her supervisor.  I agreed and almost without delay he got on, then excused himself in order, he said, to review my file.  He soon confirmed what I had originally been told.  But now, what had been a relatively persuasive performance came undone.  When I protested that I would first need to review the situation with my accountant and lawyer he informed me that I had but 45 minutes to an hour to settle the matter (presumably by credit card, over the phone).  My refusal would, he said, activate the collection process.  I would soon, he warned, be visited by the local sheriff!

That pushed it over the top; it lost all credibility.  Still polite, I told him I would think about it and hung up the phone.  Sure, I was relieved since I had not been altogether confident about my standing with the IRS.  But now I was also angry.  These people had created a plausible scenario, seemed capable of orchestrating a scam that could succeed.

I called my local Police Department to report the incident.  Before I could offer any detail the officer mentioned a phone number and asked if it was the one I had been instructed to call.  “How did you know that?”  “You’re not”, he replied, “the first call that’s come in this morning about this”.  We had been targeted.

And as I soon discovered after an on-online visit to the IRS site, there were few places in the country unaffected by this well-organized, albeit nefarious, operation.

Schemers alas, will always be with us creatively plotting to capitalize either on our fears and uncertainties, or on our greed.