When do hopes fade and dreams die?  As fall turns toward winter, such thoughts intrude.  Admittedly such a question is distinctly at odds with our core beliefs.  We have long been a “can do” culture, repeatedly exposed to an inspirational optimism that insists we believe in ourselves and our limitless potential, and urges us to overcome adversity so that we can reach our goals.  And sometimes we succeed; determination should never be discounted.  Still, it’s safe to assume that most people fall short, will advance only so far.  Even as they continue to strive, in their heart of hearts most come to the realization that certain objectives are beyond reach.  The perpetual battle against aging cannot be won.  Losing and keeping weight off is almost always a lost cause.  Travelling to distant destinations around the world may never come to pass.  Economic security is unlikely to be achieved.  Chronic ailments cannot be avoided or eliminated.  Self-confidence may never reach desired levels.  Family relationships will probably fall short of what one had expected.  Careers will stall.  Friends will pass away.  Worries of one sort or another will never cease.  But life will go on; joys there will be, but mixed together with  disappointment, diminished hope, even resignation.

What is true for most of us also applies to our nation.  The promises America made were not empty ones.  We created a free, open, expansive society that liberated people from age-old traditions and restrictions and enabled millions to advance.  Much has been achieved over the years. Still, given America’s exceptional potential, we’re unlikely to become the society we once imagined was possible.  Poverty and homelessness will never be eradicated, thus dimming the prospect that inequality in America can be overcome.  Illegal drugs will remain as a scourge of society; the plague of violence will not recede and the degradation of our environment will continue.  Special interests will retain their outsized influence as our political system is distorted by those supplying cash in exchange for favors.  Prejudice and racism will persist.  Millions will discover that their quest for full participation and influence will be thwarted and indefinitely postponed.

The United States will likely continue to make advances and for many the quality of life will improve, but just as with individuals, expectations and hope as always will consistently lag behind realities.  Life in America offers promises in abundance, but rarely does it manage to pay off in full.

Most are familiar with the process of action and reaction, of challenge and response.  An operational dynamic of society, it is often in play.  I was reminded of that recently when speaking to an automobile alarm expert.  He mentioned what had happened when motorists took action to avoid being “pulled over” for speeding by police patrols.  Knowing that it was police radar that had determined that they were driving over the speed limit, they acquired their own radar detectors.  Placed in their cars, drivers were now warned about a police presence and could thus avoid “trouble”.  This “adaptation” did not, however, sit well with local enforcement people who, in turn, installed their own devices to detect the presence of civilian radar.  Meanwhile, laws were passed making it illegal for drivers to employ this warning system.  No doubt this cat and mouse game still continues along our roads and highways, a revealing demonstration of thrust and parry.

Examples of power blunted, restrictions neutralized, initiatives thwarted abound.  Government policies that shift toward the integration of blacks trigger massive resistance and white backlash, thereby limiting the advance of desegregation.  A revolutionary regime proclaims liberation and freedom but then gives way to dictatorial rule.  An insurgency threatens the stability of a regime which then responds with its own counterinsurgency tactics.  New government regulations are introduced, but those affected move quickly to limit or negate their impact while agency bureaucrats choose to limit enforcement.  Taxes are raised on corporations, which prompts many to respond by leaving the United States and establishing operations overseas.  Powerful drugs are introduced, but in time lose their potency as offending microorganisms mutate and succeed in warding off the antibiotic challenge.  Pressure on drug groups in South America leads cartel heads to react by shifting operations to other parts of the region. Strict surveillance along sections of the border between the U.S. and Mexico results in the opening of new migrant routes in areas where security is less effective.  One or the other major political parties in America wins the Presidency and controls Congress, but then inevitably loses badly in off-year elections two years afterward.

To take action, to grab the initiative often results in initial advantage, but these in turn produce countervailing forces and oppositional responses which then make the final outcome uncertain and often inconclusive.  But that shouldn’t surprise us since it was Newton who long ago declared that for every action we should expect an equal and opposite reaction.

The other day my wife and I were deciding on a restaurant for lunch.  She chose one based, she remarked, on its bathrooms!  The condition of bathrooms, I understood, is far more important to women than to men.  The reasons are entirely obvious, especially because women, by and large, must use the bathroom far more often than men.  (Who hasn’t witnessed long lines in front of women’s bathrooms while nary a male entered the men’s facility?)  This altogether unremarkable incident, however, got me thinking about the many ways women still remain disadvantaged in our society.

Sure, I recognize that women have made considerable progress in recent decades and can point to notable advances and achievements.  But I’m talking about situations that usually exist under the radar and that rarely are factored in when considering the relative standing of men and women in contemporary America.  Though the times they are achanging – and the numbers may bear this out – it’s still likely that most couples await more eagerly the birth of boys rather than girls.  And as girls begin growing up they face challenges and threats most males are spared.  Girls get “periods”, a phenomenon unknown to men.  Often it means that each month difficult and uncomfortable days can be expected.  In recent years girls face increasing pressure to engage in sex and to perform sexual acts once considered out of bounds.  Date rape seems to have become a menacing fact of life for females as they move from high school through college and the years beyond.  Being held captive for extended periods by males, while not common nevertheless, dramatizes women’s vulnerability.  Indeed, personal security remains a consistent concern in the lives of girls and women.  Unlike most males, they must remain ever vigilant when they are out and about, cautioned to be aware of their surroundings, the time of day, whether or not they’re alone and what they are prepared to do if assaulted (flight, self-defense, pepper spray).

The pressures continue.  Women rarely feel comfortable appearing in public without make-up.  Many spend considerable time applying all manner of facial enhancements (plus refreshing their makeup, especially their lipstick, throughout the day).  Few venture out without their pocketbooks, which leave them vulnerable to “purse snatching” and subject to the frustrations associated with rummaging through oversized and overstuffed bags.  Unlike men, a large majority of women believe that out in public they must wear high heeled shoes, which certainly enhance legs and ankles, but often produce unwanted clatter, limit their pace of movement and often produce physical discomfort.  Despite all their effort, women are thought to “age” sooner than men, who frequently are able to attract and select females considerably younger than they are.

Only women become pregnant and must endure many months of increasing discomfort and distress.  Giving birth has its pleasures and satisfactions, but that may only be in retrospect.  Babies need their mothers, require their complete attention and care – an exhausting experience for mom.  And domestic bliss may not last.  Women still are called upon or left to do most of the housework, cooking and shopping.  Unfaithful husbands are everywhere; physically abusive partners far too common.  Women are expected to care for elderly parents.  Men have their “excuses” and pitch in far less frequently.  Divorce obviously harms both of them, but then the burdens single mothers bear can be crippling.  If the marriage lasts, wives typically outlive husbands.  As a result women find themselves living alone for years after the deaths of their spouses.

Millions of women in America lead productive and fulfilling lives, loving and being loved by men.  But that does not alter the fact that in our society they often have a rough time of it.  (admittedly, in many many other societies conditions are far worse.)  The most obvious obstacles they face will eventually be overcome.  Still many will remain reflecting as they do either natural differences between the sexes or arrangements in which men have defined and determined the contours and conditions of women’s lives.

This survey has scant claim to being scientific, but in gatherings with people ranging across the generations, few topics surface more frequently than favorite restaurants and the ongoing hunt for new ones.  Politics, sports, vacations, children, the stock market, home prices commonly take a back seat to exchanges about recent restaurant discoveries and exceptional dishes savored.  Like tens of millions of Americans these people have in recent years taken to “eating out” with regularity.  Indeed, for many, it’s become their favorite pastime.  And to accommodate these devoted diners, restaurants have flourished, new ones appearing constantly, often on the sites where previous eateries failed to catch on.  Food choices and cooking styles have exploded; a bewildering assortment of possibilities now tempts the palate.

No longer does it require a special occasion in order to eat out as once was the case, nor any need to feel guilty about not preparing a meal at home.  Because it’s become so commonplace Americans now spend as much for dining out as for food consumed at home (though often eating at places that feature “home cooking”).  In our service-oriented society, being served and leisurely dining have become enormously popular.

People eat out because they can afford to and because they find it to be a satisfying experience, a break from their daily routines, liberations from dirty dishes, a chance to relax with relatives and friends and, if single, to be amidst other people.  But it’s also an adventure an opportunity to taste new dishes and discover new dining spots.  Sure, most everyone has his favorite restaurant, where he knows the menu, is totally at ease, and is coddled by waiters and staff.  But there is an unquenchable wanderlust, a desire to leave the beaten path in search of new culinary experiences, and then to be the bearer of glad tidings, first among their set, to proclaim the virtues and value of a new establishment.  In the ongoing competition for influence and status, high marks go to those intrepid explorers who guide others to fine food and ample portions.

All you hear of late is how we’re coming apart.  Rich folks are getting richer, while the rest of us are barely hanging on.  The gap between the highly educated and those academically deficient widen, as does the gulf between the exceptionally skilled and broadly competent and those with but limited abilities and opportunities.  Add in the split between retirees and workers young and old, between Evangelicals and Secularists, between Wall Street and Main Street.  The Pluribus has clearly trumped the Unum.

And there’s no end in sight.  Many believe we’re a Christian nation, but Christians are deeply divided into a multitude of competing sects and denominations.  The public school system long-celebrated as a powerful engine of unity is losing that capacity, thanks to private schools, home schooling, the spread of charter schools and the glaring gaps in school performance across America.  Wars, we once believed, could unite our society, but recent conflicts have demonstrated otherwise.  A common culture has dissolved leaving us fragmented into mutually opaque clusters.

The splintering continues.  Demographers have observed a growing physical separation among these divergent groups, a pulling away from each other.  Gated enclaves, retirement communities, together with the advance of gentrification, all reflect these trends.  Increasingly we speak of the Red State-Blue State schism, as well as our coasts being separate and distinct from the interior expanses of the US.  In Washington, D.C., political party members sit separately and rarely socialize across the aisle.  Little wonder legislative logjams bedevil Congress.  Flag buttons grace more lapels than ever, but they’ve not healed the rift.  Are we left with only the Super Bowl to bring us together?  At least for a day?

At the core of the problem is the separation that exists among the social classes of our society. Made worse recently because social mobility has slowed to a crawl.  Think of it – how many friends do you have not of your own class?  Acquaintances perhaps, but friends that you socialize with regularly?  Where is that likely to happen – the workplace, your house of worship, the gym, a bar, a book club?  Unlikely.  Accordingly the information we get about others is second hand – newspapers, TV, movies, books, observations of others within our own social set.  That leaves us relying upon hearsay, stereotypes and other often prejudicial pronouncements.  No longer, as in many legends, do princes disguise themselves and pass undetected among the common people.  “Slumming”, once fashionable among certain middling classes, no longer has the same allure.  Unless these barriers are breached, the gap and gulf that we’ve noted will remain and efforts at mutual understanding and collaboration will fail.

So, here’s my modest proposal to get us moving in the right direction.  How about establishing a Museum of the Social Classes.  This stand-alone, multi-level structure will offer ample living space for representatives of our many social classes, including the very poor, lower class, lower middle class, middle, upper middle class, together with the nouveau riche and established wealthy.  A representative family or a congenial but unrelated collection of individuals from each strata would be invited to live in one of these apartments for a year (at the end of which they’d be replaced by a similar group).  To fill the museum each group would live rent-free (plus additional incentives for the well-to-do).  Each would furnish and decorate their apartment (including class appropriate amenities) to their taste and would be encouraged to conduct themselves as they might typically do.  (Remember the Loud family back in 1973 allowed TV cameras into their home and into their lives for an extended period of time.  Given the current popularity of reality shows, there should be little concern about vacancies here.)

Once everyone moves in, the museum would be open to the public free of charge, the rooms constructed so as to allow visitors to view (through one-way mirrors) the occupants of each apartment and to observe the various life styles, conversation, exchanges and other interactions within several apartments.  Voyeurism?  No doubt.  But can you imagine a more direct way to bridge the information gaps that exist?  Locate such museums in a multitude of cities and before long you might well succeed in enabling people to move beyond the stereotypes and received wisdom about otherst toward greater understanding, even empathy.  That just might make a difference.

Applications for museum residences are now being accepted.

So you want to be a public policy expert?  There are plenty of single issue hotshots around, people impressively schooled in a particular subject, prepared and eager to take on all adversaries.  But here we’re talking about a broad range of contemporary issues and what a well-versed policy wonk would need to know in order to speak with authority.  To those aspiring to such omniscience, here’s a course outline, i.e., a list of subjects and questions to be mastered.

Can we ever expect to achieve substantial reductions in poverty levels across the U.S.?
Will the racial divide in America ever be bridged?
Are college costs likely to be brought under control?
Will women eventually agree on the appropriate balance between employment, home and motherhood?
Is it at all likely that the Federal tax code can be revised in a fair equitable manner?
Can “big money” be removed from politics?
What aspect of personal privacy can we preserve?
Are newspapers likely to survive in their present form?
Can individual behavior be modified sufficiently in order to achieve markedly improved health outcomes?
Can health costs be substantially reduced without sacrificing access and quality?
Will college athletes in major sports ever be acknowledged as professionals and not students?
Can we reach agreement on the most effective balance between free enterprise and government regulation?
Will the U.S. and China emerge as friendly rivals?
Can we expect Muslim extremism to recede?
Will we be able to reduce the numbers of addicts and the amounts of illegal drugs consumed across the nation?
Is it too late to counteract the efforts of climate change?
Will we resolve the debate about the relationship between tax rates and economic growth?
Are we likely to agree on an immigration policy that a majority of Americans can accept?
Is there a cluster of policies that can help restore educational achievement levels?
What is the likelihood that the U.S. can achieve energy independence?
Can we expect the death penalty to gradually end in the U.S?
Can we agree upon a proper balance between environmental protection and economic development?
Will a majority of American commuters shift to mass transit systems?
Are we likely to substantially reduce our prison population?
Will we ever be able to register almost all Americans and remove most obstacles to voting?
Can we restore a robust level of social mobility in the U.S?
Will we see a workable level of bipartisanship restored?
Should and can America continue to serve as “policemen of the world”?
Can we achieve large reductions in nuclear armaments around the world?
Can we expect a significant rebound in American manufacturing?
Is cyber warfare and a reliance upon drones likely to replace the conventional tactics of our military?

If you’re prepared to offer insightful and objective analyses on most all of these issues, you may claim the title of policy expert.  You’ll probably not be elected to public office, but are likely to become a regular guest on the network and cable news show circuit.